As some of you know and are probably well sick of me telling you, I love science-fiction. What I love about this genre is that it present modern problems in futuristic garb. And I know that are also know and are sick of me telling you that I love Star Trek for especially, that reason. The groundbreaking television series, with a multicultural cast, dealt with many modern issues, such as war, racism, drugs, sexism and other topics. In the late 80s Star Trek came back to television in the version of Star Trek: The Next Generation. With a new series came new enemies. In the original television series, we had the Romulans and the Klingons. In the new series, we had an even more menacing villain: the Borg.

The Borg are a race of beings half-humanoid, half-android. There is no such thing as individuality or uniqueness among the Borg. They are soulless beings that work as one. They fly around in a ship that looks like giant cube and their job is to assimilate other species into their own collective. Whenever the meet up with a ship, such as the Enterprise, they “greet” their soon to be prey with these words: “We are Borg. Lower your shields. Your biological and technological distinctiveness will be added to our own. Resistance is futile.”

Today, the first Sunday after Pentecost, is commonly called Trinity Sunday, the day we remember the concept of God as Three in One; God the Father or Mother, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. This is always an odd day for Christians and for those of us who are part of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) in particular. For one thing, this is day devoted not to something in the Bible, but to doctrine, something that came along long after the Bible was written. For Disciples, this is also perplexing, because most of our founders were not considered what some would call Trinitarians. Because people like Barton Stone and Alexander Campbell placed an emphasis on restoring the church to what it was in the first century and because the word “trinity” is not found in the Bible, they did not place a whole lot of emphasis on it. That’s not to say they didn’t believe in God the Son or God the Holy Spirit, it’s just that they wouldn’t call that Trinity, nor would they make that a precursor for someone to become part of a faith community.

So, what do we do with this day? Do we ignore it? We could do that. But I think that there is still much to be mined from this day and from the Trinity. I think there is much to learn about who God is and how we can be church in this world. I think the Trinity is less of a doctrine that one must believe than a way to live life.

Now today’s texts have nothing to do with the Trinity. I am not going to try to say they uphold the doctrine of the Trinity, because no one was thinking in those terms yet. But they do give some clues about God and about us.

In the closing chapters of Matthew, Jesus tells his disciples to go and teach and baptize in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. He also tells them that he will always be with them until time ends.

Paul ends his second letter to his problem church in Corinth by saying that they should put their affairs in order, be agreeable with each other and greet each other with a holy kiss. And then he ends by saying a phrase that I know that I have heard often: “The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God and the communion of the Holy Spirit be with all of you.”

The scriptures today remind us that we have a job to do. Jesus calls us to go into all the world and make disciples. Not make church goers, but disciples: people who will be followers of Jesus, not simply pew sitters. This text is commonly called the Great Commission many a pastor has preached on this text, to tell people to go and tell others about the Good News of Jesus. Congregations are urged to tell people about Jesus and pastors and churches get busy in the work of evangelism. There is nothing wrong with this, provided we don’t forget what else Jesus is saying here. We are to go and make disciples and also teach and baptize. We are called to help others understand the ways of Jesus and what it means that God loves us. And we are called to baptize, to formally welcome them into the larger faith community and into the life of being a follower of Jesus.

This seems like a tall order. How can we do this all? The sad fact is that many churches and pastors get involved in trying to be Christ in the world, and forget to take Christ with them. Jesus tells his disciples that he will be with them and God will be a work along with us as we preach, teach and baptize. It is not all on our shoulders. Christ is with us working in the lives of others and sustaining us when the road is long and hard.

If Jesus is giving us a charge of action, Paul is giving us a charge of character. Paul is telling the Corinthians to be in agreement with each other. Now, at first blush, this seems to mean that all the Corinthians must think the same way. The sad thing is that throughout church history, followers of Jesus have decided that everyone must have the same beliefs. People were forced out of churches for not sharing the same views on things as everyone else. That is not what Paul is saying here. Instead, Paul is saying we should not be divisive, or to put it in another way, to disagree without being disagreeable. He then ends it with the “trinitarian greeting.” What interesting here is that within God there is difference and yet unity. The love of God, the grace of Jesus, the communion of the Holy Spirit. Three different aspects of God and yet the same God, all in agreement.

As I said, the Trinity isn’t a doctrine to be believed. But I do think it is a way of life to be lived. Within God is diversity. Father/Mother God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. Some people refer to the Creator, Redeemer and Sustainer. When Paul tells the Corinthians to be in agreement, he wasn’t calling for them to think the same and be the same. He was calling for this community to be united and yet different.

That is what we are called to be today. We all come here with as unique individuals. We all come from different backgrounds, with different life experiences and different religious and political beliefs. What binds us together, is the love of God, the grace of Jesus and the communion of the Holy Spirit. The church is called to be a place where there is diversity in every way imaginable and yet there is unity as well.

The fact is, the world sorely needs to hear this message. We live in a world where there is a spirit of sameness that is afraid of difference. We sort ourselves out into Republicans and Democrats, straight and gay, black and white and so on. We like to be in communities where everyone things like we do. In a way we are like the Borg, wanting to have a community where difference is not tolerated.

But God is calling us to be a place where we are different. We are called to be a place where we have a common purpose and goal, but where we are different as God is different.

The thing is, this diverse and yet unifying God is with us everywhere. We are reminded of God the Creator in the beauty of creation, we see God the Redeemer, when we receive communion and know that we are loved, no matter what. We see God the Sustainer, when when this diverse bunch of people gather together every Sunday to worship and bear each others burdens. God is with is, God is around us, and God is in us. We are never truly alone and we are called to be welcoming to all we meet.

You don’t have to believe in the Trinity. But I do think it is a lesson in how we are to be church: we are to be a community that knows God is with us and that is welcoming to all, even those people that are very different from us.

The fictional Borg, like to say “resistance is futile.” But I think in a world that demands conformity, we can respond with the old Latin phrase, “e pluribus unum,” out of many one. Out of many ways of being, we are united in Christ.

Maybe resistance isn’t so futile after all. Thanks be to God. Amen.

I feel like I’m on of the few gay men that isn’t angry.  I’m not angry that same-sex marriage isn’t moving faster.  I’m not mad at the evangelical upbringing I had.  Heck, I’m not mad that it will be very hard to find another call because I’m gay and many churches in the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) are rural.

Last fall, Tony Jones wrote in a post that he couldn’t understand why Justin Lee, a gay evangelical activist,  isn’t more pissed. He writes:

It seems to me that there’s a place for righteous anger, and I think that the church-sanctioned discrimination against LGBT persons is one of those places. Justin and many other gay friends of mine have been shat upon by the church, in the name of truth and Christ. They’ve experienced an injustice that I never will. It pisses me off, and I think it should piss them off, too.

I’m not going to pretend that I haven’t been faced with discrimination, but for some reason it doesn’t bother me as much.  I’m not angry at God or the church because I know that there are places where I am welcomed and I’ve known since 1992 when I basically came out to God that I was loved by God.  I’ve wondered at times if it’s my aspie personality and to some extent I think it is.  I do handle emotions differently than the average bear.

But I think another thing is going on here.  I’m beginning to think that the reason I’m not angry is that as important as being gay is important to my identity, there is another one that has an even greater pull- being a follower of Jesus, being a Christian.  To me, being a follower of Jesus means working for justice, but I also think it means living a graceful life, a life where you love your enemies, especially the ones that might not see eye to eye on me being gay.

I’ve been thinking a lot about being gay and exhibiting grace lately, especially in the wake of the passage of same-sex marriage legislation in Minnesota.  The day the bill passed, I saw a message from a fellow pastor that is on the other side.  He asked that my side not be arrogant in our victory.  I thought he had a point.  As much as I look forward to marrying Daniel legally, I want to offer grace to the other side.   I want to offer grace to my “enemies.”

It’s a temptation for those of us gay and straight who work for justice to not be so nice to the other side.  After all, gay folks have long been oppressed from the pulpit.  We want to “spike the ball” against those we feel have done us harm.

While I think we need to continue the work of gay equality, I worry that both within the walls of the church and in the larger society, those of us who favor gay rights are lashing out against the other side in a way that doesn’t offer grace and ultimately doesn’t offer much justice either.

Political pundit Michael Kinsley wrote an article about what he sees as an attempt to punish people who don’t favor same sex marriage.  He brings up the example of Dr. Ben Carson, the well known neurosurgeon who came out against same-sex marriage. Kinsley thinks we need to cut some slack and not get all worked up on what one conservative said:

Carson may qualify as a homophobe by today’s standards. But then they don’t make homophobes like they used to. Carson denies hating gay people, while your classic homophobe revels in it. He has apologized publicly “if I offended anyone.” He supports civil unions that would include all or almost all of the legal rights of marriage. In other words, he has views on gay rights somewhat more progressive than those of the average Democratic senator ten years ago. But as a devout Seventh Day Adventist, he just won’t give up the word “marriage.” And he has some kind of weird thing going on about fruit.

But none of this matters. All you need to know is that Carson opposes same-sex marriage. Case closed. Carson was supposed to be the graduation speaker at Johns Hopkins Medical School. There was a fuss, and Carson decided to withdraw as speaker. The obviously relieved dean nevertheless criticized Carson for being “hurtful.” His analysis of the situation was that “the fundamental principle of freedom of expression has been placed in conflict with our core values of diversity, inclusion and respect.” My analysis is that, at a crucial moment, the dean failed to defend a real core value of the university: tolerance.

Evan Wolfson, head of the group Freedom to Marry, sees Carson as an agent of intolerance that deserved to get disinvited from making a graduation speech at John Hopkins:

Pretty much absent from Kinsley’s piece is any acknowledgment that loving and committed gay couples are still excluded from marriage in 38 states. Or that those couples who do get married are still subject to the “gay exception” created by the so-called Defense of Marriage Act, which denies these legally married couples Social Security survivorship, access to family leave, health coverage, immigration protections, the ability to sponsor a loved one for a green card, and the chance to pool resources as a family without adverse tax treatment.

That’s the political agenda Ben Carson was signing on to and furthering. When a public figure and political dabbler like Carson takes a stand against gay people’s freedom to marry, he is not just offering his opinion—which is certainly his right. He is not just, say, personally opting to boycott a wedding he doesn’t approve of. He is advocating that the law be used as a weapon, that discrimination be cemented into constitutions, and that an important freedom he himself enjoys be denied to his fellow Americans.

 

So who’s right here?

Actually, both are.  The trick though is that for Christians, we need to balance our need for justice with a sense of grace.  Wolfson is right that Carson has signed up with a policy that hurts others.  Getting kick off the program for a graduation ceremony is small change compared to the harsh oppression that gays have had to face; being kicked out of families, churches and communities.  But Kinsley is right that we don’t need to go nuclear all the time.  And for Christians we are also called to love our persecutors as much as we are to fight for justice.

As a gay Christian, I am called to work for justice.  I want there to be a day when no gay kid has to live in fear and confusion.  But as a gay Christian, I am called to love the person that I might not agree with.  I am called to show that person some grace.  Loving our enemies is unfair and quite appalling.  And yet, it is the way that Jesus taught us to live in the world.

I few years ago, I shared a story of an encounter I had with an older gentleman who disagreed on the issue of gays.  I wrote back then:

As several denominations struggle with the issue of gay pastors, I am reminded of something that happened to me a few years ago.

I had just graduated from seminary and was doing my CPE at a local nursing home. I was still involved at the church where I was an intern and was asked to serve on the church board. It came to a vote and I was voted in nearly unanimously. I say nearly because one person voted against me. I knew who it was and so did many others. It was an elderly member of the church. He had some idea I was gay and many people assumed that was why he voted against me. After the meeting concluded, he asked me to come with him into another room. He explained that he prayed and studied the scripture on the issue of homosexuality, but his conscience was not swayed in favor. As he said this, he began to cry.

I was and still am touched by this guesture. He did have to speak to me to explain his actions, but he did. He might not approve of who I sleep with, but he did treat me with respect. This wasn’t simply about being right for him, but about being loving.

Yeah, I know that his actions were hurtful. Yes, it would have been nice had he voted in favor. But I could respect his decision even if it was wrong, because he valued me enough to respect me.

I learned about grace in that moment, and it forever changed how I look at the other side.

As Minnesota gears up for legal same sex marriages, it is my hope that my fellow progressive Christians will show grace to those who might not see this as a good thing.  I pray that we can embrace them as much as we embrace LGBT persons.  I pray that we work for justice and exhibit grace.

Because everyone needs a little bit of mercy.  Even Ben Carson.

“Waiting to Exhale”
Act 2:1-21
May 27, 2007 (Pentecost Sunday)
Lake Harriet Christian Church
Minneapolis, MN

When I was about two years old, I was diagnosed with asthma.  From about age two until maybe age 9, I dealt with constant asthma attacks where I had hard time breathing.  I can remember sitting in the doctor’s office of Dr. Cory Cookingham, who was my allergy and asthma doctor, who would sometimes have to give me a shot of adrenalin to open up my constricted lungs.  More than once he worried if this didn’t work, that the hospital would be the next stop.

Growing up as a kid with asthma was not fun in the early 70s.  I still had a pretty full childhood, but there were things I was limited in doing.  My made sure all the schools I attended were clean and not dusty so as not to trigger an attack.  I remember when I was very young, not playing outdoors again for fear of an attack.

As I got older the spectre of asthma grew smaller.  I was able to play outdoors and have fun, no longer fearful for another attack.  In fact I went without an asthma attack for eight years until the summer I graduated high school.  I still have attacks few and far between, but I do carry an inhaler just in case.

Today is a big day in the life of the church.  This is Pentecost Sunday, the birthday of the church.  It is also the day that we focus on the third person of the Trinity, the Holy Spirit.  The text that was read today, has the Holy Spirit as the prime mover, the One that transforms the timid disciples into fearless apostles, a community huddled in a room is sent out by the power of the Spirit into the world.

Many of us don’t really know what to do about the Spirit.  We know what to do with God.  We are pretty sure what to do with Jesus.  God is our Father and Mother, Jesus is the Son, the Lamb of God, but who is this Holy Spirit?  We don’t know what to do with this third person.  And, well, the word spirit brings up thoughts of ghosts and goblins…things that are rather creepy.

When we think of the Holy Spirit, if we ever do, we tend to think of our Pentecostal brothers and sisters.  They are the ones that will sometimes dance up and down the isles and speak in something that sounds like complete gibberish.  We “sophisticated” mainline Protestants look at such things with fear, because we most definitely don’t want to be like that.  Having grown up in a charismatic Baptist Church, I am familiar with people who are “slain in the Spirit” and start yelling and flailing their arms like crazy.  For a little kid, such mannerisms were scary and I didn’t know if I wanted anything to do with the Holy Spirit.

So, mainline Protestants tend to ignore the Spirit.  If rolling around is what makes one “filled with the Spirit,” we will stick to our more sedate brand of worship, thank you very much.

But in throwing the baby out with the bathwater, we tend to miss seeing the world through God’s eyes and in the end, we end up missing God.

Our text from Acts opens with the disciples holed up in a room in Jerusalem.  These were the same bunch of people who never seemed to understand what Jesus was all about.  And when the going got rough for Jesus, they abandoned him.  This group was hardly the group that was going to lead the church.

And then, a wind comes through and envelopes the room.  And then fire descends on each of them and they began to speak in other languages, which was quite a feat for these simple small-town men from Galilee.  Peter addresses the crowd with wisdom we have never seen before.  He tells them that in the last days, God would pour out the Spirit and sons and daughters would prophesy, young men will see visions and old men will dream dreams and even the slaves would prophesy.

Wow.  So is all that happening now?  I think so, but we need to be filled with the Spirit to see it.  Notice that Peter didn’t say the Spirit was being poured out on the church, but on all flesh.  So, God’s Spirit is at work in the world, even among those who may not know of Christ.  Men and women are doing God’s work of justice in word and in deed.  Even the lowly outcast is being used by God.

God’s spirit is at work in the world, but can we experience it?

One of the few things I remember from my seminary days is that the word for wind and spirit in Greek is the word pnuema.  For the more mature people in the congregation, this is where we get the word pneumatic tires from- tires filled with air. I think it’s interesting that this word mean both spirit and wind, because it give us some insight into what the Holy Spirit is all about.  The wind is something that can’t be contained; it goes where it wants to go.  God’s Spirit is not contained in churches, but is alive beyond these walls in the world.  Our job is not to bring the Spirit to people but to find out where God is already at work and join God in that work.

The Hebrew word for spirit is even more fasicinating.  That name is ruach, which also means breath.  Think back to the creation story when God creates humans.  God fashions the bodies, but they were still dead- until God breathes into their bodies and then they come to life.  Spirit here means life, because to breathe means you live, you aspire.  To not breathe is to die, to expire.

We are a God-breathed people, or at least we should be.  Are we a people that sees where the Spirit is blowing in the world?  I can’t answer that question, only each us in our hearts can do that.  I can say that looking at the world through the Spirit’s eyes is a lot like seeing the world through the eyes of a child.  I want to show you a painting that was done by a local artist, Eddie Hamilton.  Many of his paintings are made up of these seemingly simply figures.  Now, I’ve seen a lot of paintings and they tend to be pretty serious.  Eddie’s paintings tend to be childlike.  There is something freeing about this picture.  There is a soul of a child in these paintings and it reminds me that we are called to be like a child.  Jesus said that we are to have the heart of child to be  part of God’s kingdom, and it seems that the church has to have a heart of a child to see God’s Spirit at work in the world.

When I was old enough, not to mention healthy enough, I would ride my bike around the neighborhood.  Being a young kid, I would have an adventure.  Nevermind, that I really never rode my bike more than a block or two, I had entered into a marvelous world that was full of possibilities.

Shouldn’t that be what the church is all about?  That we can go from out of the walls and see a world where God is at work and we can’t wait to a part of that?

The truth is that too often we are bogged down by the daily realities of church, we are worried that we are too small, or we fret about the finances and the phyiscial plant.  I’m not saying we shouldn’t care about these things, but we get so wrapped up in these matters that we miss what God is up to in the world.

A few months ago, I had the opportunity to hear the General Minister and President of our denomination, Sharon Watkins, speak.  She said something that I has stuck in my head until today.  She said that the church is not here to bring people to it, but to going to the world and bring the church to the world.  Too often, the goal has been to bring people to church so that they can connect with God.  The assumption is that God isn’t in the world and it’s up to us to help people know God.  But the fact is, God is pouring God’s Spirit out on all of creation.  God is already at work in the world and our job is to work with God.  There are many people who are doing God’s work and don’t know it.  Our job is not to bring them to church, but to do what Peter did: tell the story of Jesus, the One who has brought salvation to the world.

Dennis McKee a former member used to ask us how we knew how God is at work in our lives.  So, have you seen God at work?  Were you paying attention?  I am seeing God at work in the Circle of Prayer that meets for prayer.  I am seeing it in someone like Jim Galvin who has a faith the size of the Grand Canyon.  I see God moving all the time, when I’m paying attention.

I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh.  Can you see the wind?  Can you breathe in the Spirit?  That’s a question only you can answer.  Thanks be to God. Amen.

The problem with much Christian worship in the contemporary world, Catholic and Protestant alike, is not that it is too entertaining but that it is not entertaining enough. Worship characterized by upbeat rock music, stand-up comedy, beautiful people taking center stage, and a certain amount of Hallmark Channel sentimentality neglects one classic form of entertainment, the one that tells us, to quote the Book of Common Prayer, that “in the midst of life we are in death.”

It neglects tragedy. Tragedy as a form of art and of entertainment highlighted death, and death is central to true Christian worship. The most basic liturgical elements of the faith, baptism and the Lord’s Supper, speak of death, of burial, of a covenant made in blood, of a body broken. Even the cry “Jesus is Lord!” assumes an understanding of lordship very different than Caesar’s. Christ’s lordship is established by his sacrifice upon the cross, Caesar’s by power…

Of all places, the Church should surely be the most realistic. The Church knows how far humanity has fallen, understands the cost of that fall in both the incarnate death of Christ and the inevitable death of every single believer. In the psalms of lament, the Church has a poetic language for giving expression to the deepest longings of a humanity looking to find rest not in this world but the next. In the great liturgies of the Church, death casts a long, creative, cathartic shadow. Our worship should reflect the realities of a life that must face death before experiencing resurrection.

As they say, read the whole thing.

I recently read an interview with Rev. Mel White. Most of you know him as someone who grew up as an evangelical, was a ghostwriter for many big evangelical stars and then came out as gay. I remember hearing about him in the mid-to-late 90s and back then he was kind of the SpongeBob Squarepants of the gay community. I mean that SpongeBob thing as a compliment, because he just seemed so darned positive, when it seems like most gay men were known for snark and bitterness. He was kind of a breath of fresh air to me and I was amazed and applauded his attempts to meet and even persuade his some of the people he used to work for. Yes, it might have been hopeless, but there was something wonderful about how he really tried to do that whole “love your enemies” thing that Jesus talked about.

This leads me back to the article I read. The positive Mel White of old is long gone. What’s left is a man that’s pretty pissed off at the church and when I say church, I mean the whole church. White is angry not just at evangelicals, but also more mainline denominations that either still haven’t voted in favor of equality (like the United Methodists) and those that have recently allowed for non-celibate gays to become ordained (like the Lutherans and the Presbyterians):

For example, in the United Methodist Book of Discipline homosexual behavior is labeled, “incompatible with Christian teaching.” The Methodists—with their misleading logo, “Open Hearts. Open Minds. Open Doors”—have voted against us for approximately 40 years and yet they are the largest and most progressive of the mainline churches. Changing the basic statement of the mainline churches from anti to pro has been the activist’s primary goal for decades with very little to show for it…

… After debating the issue for almost half a century in recent years the Lutherans and the Presbyterians have finally voted to ordain lesbians and gays, but the United Methodists still refuse to ordain us. In fact, they still have on their books that local clergy can even deny membership to gay and lesbian Christians…

…Again, after at least a decade of futile debate, the ELCA (Lutherans) voted to ordain and marry us, while the Presbyterians and United Methodists continue to deny us the rites of marriage. Even the liberal Episcopal Church is losing local congregations because this most progressive of the mainline denominations appointed an openly gay bishop.

On one level, I can understand his frustration. Many Methodists are upset that even a measure stating they agree to disagree failed, and rightfully so. Living in Minnesota, I know a lot of Lutherans and I know a lot of them either had to live in the closet or face ecclesiastical courts before the ban on gay clergy was lifted.

But the fact is, whether we like it or not, change like this moves slowly. Always does. It moves slowly in society and it moves slowly in the church. It takes a while for people to change their mind or see another way of looking at things. That’s frustrating, but I’ve come to learn that justice comes in its time and till then all you can do is press on making the case for change.

Another thing we have to do is love our enemies. Some times we can love them close and maybe even be friends. Sometimes you gotta love them from afar. White used to at least try, but it seems like these days, he’s just sticking to those who agree with him:

Christian fundamentalists, like fundamentalist Jews or Muslims, read their “holy books” literally. For fundamentalist Christians the Bible is clear: homosexuality is a sin. “God said it. I believe it. That settles it.”

Trying to build bridges with fundamentalists is a game I’ve played—a war I’ve fought—for 20 years and I’ve lost almost every battle.

Fundamentalists don’t listen to facts let alone to personal experience. What the Bible says to a fundamentalist Christian parent is more significant, has more weight, than what they see in the lives of their own children. I have stopped even trying to build bridges with fundamentalists. When one of them asks me, “Have you read Leviticus 20?” (a verse when taken literally demands that men who sleep with men should be killed) I reply, “You’ve confused me with someone who cares about what you think of Leviticus 20.”

Evangelicals see salvation as an act of faith, a very personal encounter between the believer and his/her God. The more historic churches see salvation as a sacramental act, through receiving the Eucharist. Most fundamentalists are evangelical but all evangelicals are not fundamentalists. There are many examples of progressive, even open and affirming evangelicals and we should go on trying to build bridges with every progressive evangelical we encounter.

And, needless to say, we should go on trying to build bridges with the liberal or progressive churches but if the label can be trusted, if a church or denomination is correctly described as “liberal” or “progressive” they are already working with us. Unfortunately, we continue to call the historic mainline churches “liberal” and “progressive” when on our issue they are neither.

Okay, but we aren’t really building bridges if we build them with people who already agree with us. It’s not bridge building; it’s building an echo chamber.

I don’t think trying to reach fundamentalists/social conservatives is a waste of time. Maybe I’m an idiot, but I have tried to reach out to social conservatives. Some folks aren’t ever going to listen to me and I tend to “love them from afar.” But others, I do try to sit and listen to them and have them listen to me. I don’t expect to change their minds; I leave that up to God. And I truly believe that God is powerful enough to change minds. But that’s not my end goal- my goal is to love them as God loves them even if I disagree with it. That’s not a waste of time to me- it’s what being a disciple of Jesus is all about.

I can understand some of the bitterness found in White and in many of my fellow gay folk. When you live in fear that people don’t like you or worse, it’s easy to have a chip on your shoulder and ready to do battle.

Maybe I’m a coward, but I also think that as a Christian, I have to learn how to also learn to love others- even others that might hate and revile me. The Old Mel White had that Christ-like love that allowed him to meet with Jerry Falwell in the long-shot hope that Falwell might repent. It was a foolish and extravagant love that I was amazed to see.

The New Mel White is not so foolish. Some would say he has the righteous anger that Jesus had turning over the moneychangers’ tables in the temple. I would agree we need that passion at times. But we also need that crazy, stupid love that White showed towards his enemies as well, and I think the world is poorer for losing that Mel White.

Sooner or later, the same folks witness me doing something stupid; something that might come off as me not caring.  They are appalled and upset at my callousness.  They usually never realize that the eccentricity and the obtuseness are part of the package.  I might be cute, but I can also piss people off and not really know I’m pissing people off.

There’s a reason some folks call Asperger’s “assburgers.”

I’ve decided I need to write something to explain to folks what it’s like to be me and maybe understand me a bit.  Here goes.

I don’t always know that I’ve upset you.  Most people get angry and don’t have to say anything to get the message across.  But realize your powers don’t work on me.  I have no idea you might be angry at me or that I did something that bothered you.  If you are upset at me, you need to tell me.  I can’t help you if I don’t know, literally.  I can’t read your body language, so use your mouth instead of your body.

I have a hard time handling more than one thing. Now, I’ve learned over time to be a bit more versitile.  I’ve also tried different things to help me to remember something needs to be done.  But none of that comes naturally to me.  More often than note, something slips through the cracks.  I’m really trying to remember this thing or that event, but I might forget.

I’m doing everything backwards and in heels.  Okay, I don’t do the heels.  But for someone with Aspergers, we have exert more energy to get things done, especially to function at near neurotypical levels.  I have to push myself beyond my limits often.  If I fall short on something know that sometimes, it might be because this is harder for me than for you.

My communication function is “damaged.” It’s possible for me to hear something that I need to tell someone and then not tell them, even though I know I should.  I need to work better at this.  But one of the issues with an autistic disorder is that you have issues with communication.  Me exactly.

I will annoy you.  I’m going to bug you.  I’m going to do something that will drive you crazy.  Just know that.  But remember, why I might be annoying.

Know that I’m really trying. Don’t immediately think that I don’t care about work, or church or your friendship.  It could be I’m trying the best I can.  Remember my communication functions don’t work like yours. Ask me if I need help.  Just ask me, period.  And show some grace.  I’m not trying to be a jerk on purpose.

Learn about Aspergers. If you are working with me and I tell you I have Aspergers, learn as much as you can about it.  Don’t think you know how to deal with me, because I assure you that if you do that, you will be dissapointed.

I’m feeling it more than you know. Back to the “I don’t care thing.”  You might think I don’t give a damn, but on the inside I feel terrible.  It just doesn’t occur for me to show that to you.  Folks with Aspergers do have feelings, sometimes even deep than you.

That’s all I can think of for now.

Last night at church we held our first Summer Evening Worship. As many of you know, First Christian shares space with a UCC congregation and a Lutheran congregation. I shared an idea with the pastor of the Lutheran church about having a contemplative worship service during the summer and she took to the idea. We decided to do service based on Prayers Around the Cross, a contemplative worship service designed by Lutheran musicians at Holden Village in Washington State.

The service includes times of silence, songs, prayers and visual imagery….perfect for someone with autism.

It was today that I realized that I love these kind of services. Most contemplative worship is filled with repetition- repeating phrases, words and songs over and over. There’s also the visual- in our case, it was a four square boxes filled with sand and placed in the shape of a cross. During the time of prayer, one can come forward to light candles which make for a wonderful image that appeals to me.

What I noticed last night was how calm I was, how still I was. If you really notice me, you will find that I really don’t sit still. I am constantly moving and fidgeting. During a Sunday worship service, I’m not still. But last night, I was calm and focused on what was going on.

I happened to stumble across this blog post when I googled “autism and taize.” She writes about how her two sons, who are autistic love Taize-style worship:

Before my husband and family burst into my life Taize was always a place of retreat and silence for me. Many young people come enjoying the international community as much as the life of prayer, but after by first visit to Taize I always came and spent the week in silence….

Returning with my family was therefore a challenge and the first time I came, 7 years ago, with just the two boys I found the week almost unbearable. The contrast between my memories of Taize and the reality of being here with two autistic boys aged 4 and 5 was too harsh. I also had, foolishly, come on the week when there was no family welcome so I was managing the boys on my own.

But even in the midst of that difficult transition I remember being moved by the way the boys responded to the beauty and the peace of the prayers. They were children who never stayed still yet I sat with them through the silences as they lay, hidden under a large scarf I had brought, peacefully calm.

My boys, like most autistic children, struggle with language based teaching. For many, many years we would always back up anything we were telling them with visual aids, with images and pictures. Reformed worship with it’s language based liturgy is probably the worst style of worship for them and traditional ‘Sunday school’ is no better. Here at Taize the children’s work, and particularly the afternoon ‘show’ that follows the story of the theme, has to be visual and not language based because you have children from so many countries – it is perfect for my children. The regular monastic life with the rhythm of the bells gives them a sense of structure and security and the worship is experiential not verbal.

I think I’m going to like these services. And I’m hoping that maybe it can be a place for other aspies to have a place where they can really worship God.

Maple Grove, MN.

I’m a city kid.  I grew up in Flint, Michigan and was only an hour away from Detroit.  The 1970s, my childhood, was the time when we heard a new phrase: white flight.  It was a time when whites who lived in cities like Flint and Detroit, left the inner cities to head to a new life in the burbs.  At least in Michigan, the move to places like Rochester Hills, Farmington Hills, Troy and Southfield created segregated metro areas with a black and poorer inner core and a white outer ring.

So, I grew up with an antipathy towards the suburbs.  They were places that were gated paradises filled with racist white folk who couldn’t give a damn about the folks in the cities.

Twenty years later, I don’t have the same hatred of suspicion of the burbs.  They are still not the places I prefer to live in (thought I did live in the Washington, DC suburbs of Arlington, VA and Silver Spring, MD in the years following college). Part that is because I actually started paying attention to what is going on in the suburbs.  Over the years, I’ve learned that hunger take place in suburbs like Maple Grove, Minnesota, which is just west of Minneapolis.  I’ve learned that domestic violence takes place and that there are shelters for women and children in the tony suburbs of Oakland County north of Detroit.  I learned that runaway youth who live in the burbs need a place to stay.  I learned that suburban schools are becoming more diverse, handling people from different parts of the world.  What I’ve learned is that the suburbs are not some fascist utopia, but are real places with real problems.

But while the burbs are far more complex than I was led to believe, they old stereotype still exists, especially in churches.  Church leaders constantly rip the burbs as being against the will of God.

Last week, Acton Institute blogger Anthony Bradley blogged on how the new radicalism being preached by several evangelical ministers seems to favor the bold and daring instead of ordinary.  Here’s a key paragraph.

In the 1970s and 1980s the children and older grandchildren of the Builder generation (born 1901 between 1920) sorted themselves and headed to the suburbs to raise their children in safety, comfort, and material ease. And, taking a cue from the Baby Boomer parents (born between 1946 and 1964) to despise the contexts that provided them advantages, Millennials (born between 1977 and 1995) now have a disdain for America’s suburbs. This despising of suburban life has been inadvertently encouraged by well-intentioned religious leaders inviting people to move to neglected cities to make a difference, because, after all, the Apostle Paul did his work primarily in cities, cities are important, and cities are the final destination of the Kingdom of God. They were told that God loves cities and they should too. The unfortunate message became that you cannot live a meaningful Christian life in the suburbs.

This led to a response from the folks at the Fare Forward blog who countered Bradley’s assessment of the suburbs.  They believe that Christians in America should abstain from suburban living:

Yet some forms of cultural resistance should be universal, because some aspects of “normal” life in America are deeply unChristian. Bradley laments that “anti-suburban Christianity” has lead to this kind of legalism. But there are some things deeply unChristian, and deeply counter to even natural virtue, in the suburbs. Will Seath does a good job of laying those out in his article from the winter edition of Fare Forward. Bradley suggests that the anti-suburban Christians advocate for urbanism at the expense of the suburbs. But, as the buzz around Rod Dreher’s latest book on moving home, a lot of the anti-suburban sentiment comes from people who support small town living just as much as from those who support city living. And the thing that unites the city and the country against the suburbs is the belief that the suburbs are not, as a matter of fact, ordinary, natural life, but a strange artificial construct that hinders ordinary live and ordinary relationships (see Seath for more).

Notice what’s being said here.  It’s not that suburbs aren’t optimal to Christian living.  No, suburban living is unChristian, it goes against what it means to be a Christian.  I haven’t read the Will Seath article, but even without reading it the above statement is astounding.  What is being said here is that nothing good comes from the suburbs, and that millions of Christians in America are basically committing a grave sin because they chose to live outside the city.

In some ways what we are seeing here is a religious version of the war between sociologists Joel Kotkin and Richard Florida.  Florida is well known for his book of a decade ago called “Rise of the Creative Class.”  Florida tends to focus on America’s cities and focuses especially on cities that can attract the “creatives” persons in the arts that can enhance the life of a city.  Kotkin on the other hand, tends to focus on America’s suburbs and less cooler cities.  It’s obvious from the tone of this post that I tend to agree more (though not totally) with Kotkin.  If you want to get a different view on suburbanism, read Kotkin’s 2010 essay “The War Against the Suburbs.”

My point isn’t that the burbs are better than cities or small towns.  My point is that I think Bradley has a point that we are called to live a godly life where we are planted, be that a big city, small town or sleepy suburb.

Are there unChristian things going on the suburbs?  Yes.  But last I checked unChristian principles like greed are found in the city as much as in the suburbs.  Wall Street is in New York, by the way.

I think the guys at FareForward are dressing up their prejudices against the suburbs and for the city in biblical garb.  There’s nothing wrong with preferring city over suburb.  What is a problem is trying to use the Bible to justify your views.

I think God calls us to different places.  We might be called to an inner city neighborhood, or a small town or a suburb.  Rod Dreher was mentioned in the blog post by FareForward.  Dreher wasn’t saying just live in small towns or go back to your hometown, but that we must put down roots in the communities where we live and work. Dreher commented in a recent blog post about his book The Little Way of Ruthie Leming, a memoir about his sister living and dying with lung cancer:

I want to push back against people who say you should not leave the country for the city — that was my sister’s view — and against the view of people who say that you should leave the country for the city, which, broadly speaking, is the view of my class. The truth is, we are not all called to do the same thing, or, as I’ve learned, to do the same thing for all of one’s life. I had to leave the country as a young man, not only for my own health, but to fulfill what I believe was my divine calling to be a writer. The sojourn I took in the mid-1990s, trying to move back to Louisiana and failing, confirmed to me that God had a calling on my life, and it could only be accomplished away from here. Now, though, nearly 20 years later, I was able to see through my sister’s fidelity to her own calling here in the country, that He was calling me to do a new thing, outside of the city. What did it was being impressed — overwhelmed, actually — by the extraordinary good my sister Ruthie did living here in this little country town, and seeing in that a model of faithful presence that challenges my own ambitions, and the ambitions of many, many people like me…

This vision was expanded by my attending the funeral of my Great Uncle Jimmy, who was a common man of uncommon goodness and greatness. I came home from that a changed man by what I had seen and heard, and started Orthodox Holy Week in a far more prayerful state of mind because of him. All week I’ve been thinking about how much people need to know about the Ruthie Lemings and James Fletchers of this world, and how I am not necessarily in a position to do the things they did, but I am in a position to write about it, to tell others. This is how I can use the gift and the opportunities God has given me.

Are there Ruthie Lemings and James Fletchers in the city? Absolutely; Uncle Jimmy lived in one, actually, in industrial West Monroe. Goodness knows nothing of the city and country distinction — and neither, it should be said, does evil, though country people and city people sometimes flatter and delude themselves that those who live in the Other Place are more susceptible to wickedness than they are. My point is simply that for me, given my own personal and professional story, I have discovered, to my very great surprise, a calling back to the country. Because of the sort of person I am, I could not, or at least did not, “see” the Uncle Jimmys and Ruthies when I lived in the city, though they were no doubt all around me. It took leaving the city for me to be able to do this. Since Little Way was published, I have heard from so many readers who have written intense, heartfelt letters telling me how much this story about a little town and its people has changed their perspective on life and how to live it…

My point, in terms of Christian vocation — which is what Alan brought up — is that God can use us in the country, He can use us in the suburbs, and He can use us in the city.

He goes on to say about how young Christians want to do Big Things, and they do.  I wanted to change things when I was in my 20s.  But now in my 40s, I want to live a good life, live to be used by God wherever I am.

It was about 20 years ago, that I attended a large Baptist church in Washington, DC. The church was an odd mix, or at least it would be odd today. Evangelicals and liberals were somehow able to worship together, along side a healthy dose of members from Latin America and Asia.

The church decided at some point to hire a pastor to the join the good-sized multi-pastor staff. The person chosen was a woman with great pastoral care skills. At the time, there was a bit of controversy because she was pro-gay and some of the evangelicals in the church weren’t crazy about that.

I was at a meeting where a member of the congregation stood up. She was one of the evangelical members of the congregation and she had what could be considered a “traditional” understanding on homosexuality, but she spoke in favor of calling the pastor. You see, the pastor had been involved with congregation for a few years and the two had gotten to know each other. “We don’t agree,” I recall this woman saying when talking about the issue they didn’t see eye-to-eye on. But this woman was a good friend and she saw her as the right person for the job.

What’s so interesting about this story is that I don’t think it could happen today. Churches like the one in DC really don’t exist anymore. Evangelicals and liberals have sorted themselves into different churches and don’t really know each other. Which only makes it easier to highlight differences and demonize each other.

When it comes to the issue of gay rights the two camps talk past each other, having very different objectives that the other side just doesn’t get.

For liberals, this is about equality. Framed by the story of the civil rights movement, they see any attempt to block same-sex marriage or gay clergy as akin to denying African Americans the right to vote.

For evangelicals, this is about conscience. They feel they must be faithful to what they believe the Bible is telling them when it comes to sexual morality. They see any approval of gay sex as going against God’s commands.

These differences were there 20 years ago, but I think there might have also been more opportunity to come together and meet the other. Our self-selected society allows us to basically pick our friends instead of trying to build bridges with those who might be different.

Why am I telling this story? I don’t really know, except that maybe I would like us to find ways were we can learn to disagree without being so disagreeable.

Civility is all the talk in our political culture, mostly because it seems like we have less and less of it. We have made it a civic value, but I want to lift up the fact that it should also be a moral and biblical value. We have to learn ways to respect and honor one another; not papering over our differences, but finding ways to still care for each other even when we disagree. Evangelical church planter Tim Keller said it best a year ago:

AMANPOUR: You talk about polarization between left and right. It does seem to be extreme, at the moment, in the United States politically, socially. Is there any hope that that can change, do you think?

KELLER: It will start if we stop demonizing each other. I — my — my — my elderly mother once said that up until about 15 years ago, if you voted for a different person for president and the person you voted against became president, you still considered him your president. He said — she said 15 years ago, that changed, that if you voted against that guy and he became president, you actually act as if he’s illegitimate. And I’m not sure that is a big social and cultural difference. We — and it really means the other side isn’t really just wrong, they’re kind of evil. And that’s pretty bad.

MANPOUR: I have to say that many would say the church plays into this highly acrimonious debate — public debate, not all church, but certainly some parts of the church. What should the church be doing different?
KELLER: At the very least, we should be creating individuals who know how to talk civilly. The gospel should create people who say, I’m loved by God but I’m — I’m a sinner. So there — there should be a certain humility and graciousness about the way in which you talk to everybody. As an institution, most of the churches have lost a lot of credibility. So I think my job is to create individuals who can participate in civil discourse.

AMANPOUR: You’re saying institutionally, the church has lost credibility?

KELLER: The mainline church identified with liberal politics, the Evangelicals have identified, at least they’re identified in people’s minds, with conservative politics. The Catholic Church has had the sex scandals. And so institutionally, each church has lost credibility. So I think it’s our job as individual congregations to care for the poor, to produce civil — people who speak civilly, to just serve our neighborhoods and serve people and be careful about speaking ex-cathedra, you know, about these great political positions on issues.

I would disagree with Keller in that I do think the church has a right to speak out on issues and there are some issues where we have to be clear where we stand. But that doesn’t mean we don’t try to look at our sister and brothers as if they are evil. We can find ways to be civil in maybe in some way speak to people about what church is all about.

What a witness that would be.

Morning, guys.  So, I wanted to ask you all: are you afraid of the dark?  When I was your age, my Mom and Dad had a nighlight in my room, because I was scared of the dark.  Actually, the dark still kind of scares me.  When I would visit my relatives in Louisiana, they lived in the country, far away from street lights and the roads could get really dark and scary.

So there was this guy named John who wrote a book in the Bible called Revelation.  He has this dream and he’s shown heaven.  Actually, it’s heaven on earth.  It’s a really beautiful place and the thing is, it’s never night there.  John says it’s because the light comes from God, so it’s always day and never night.

We believe that one day we are going see this. But you know what?  We can see that now, because God is always with us, even when things are dark.  God right now is like our nightlight, and one day God will be like the sun, and there won’t be anything to make us scared.

So, when things are kind of scary, or even if you’re trying to go to sleep in a dark room.  Know that God is with us, like a nightlight, telling us not to be afraid because God is right there with us.  Let’s pray.